


Couple Counselling

by PatterCake



Category: Infinity Train (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Arguing, F/M, Therapy, and I guess fictional bigotry? The Apex is a hate group after all, couple counselling, cws: mentions of what happened to Tuba, talk about denizens getting killed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:28:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25983619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatterCake/pseuds/PatterCake
Summary: An AU in which Grace got her exit at the end of episode 5. And Simon went with her. Oh, and they both went to therapy.
Relationships: Grace/Simon (Infinity Train)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	Couple Counselling

**Author's Note:**

> I don't understand how therapy works in the USA and it shows.

Liz noted down the date on her clipboard and turned to her patients. “Can I have your names please?”

The two strangely dressed people sat in front of her in the counselling room exchanged a look. Grace was still holding the flyer advertising a “walk in counselling at Arizona Mental Health Clinic- a place to talk” and Simon was still clutching his right arm, fiddling with the bandages they’d put on to hide his number. 

For obvious “missing for half a decade and probably declared dead” reasons Simon and Grace couldn’t give their real names. After a few moments of glaring at each other Grace spoke up:

“This is Simon uh… Lorrel and I’m Grace Mo-” She glanced around the room and spotted a calendar on the wall, surrounded by various cheesy self care posters, “Grace Monday.”

Not the world’s most creative aliases but they would have to do. 

Liz smiled and wrote them down. She set her clipboard down on her knees and examined the pair. While it was true that being a professional counsellor got you talking to all sorts of people Liz had never had to counsel someone wearing what seemed to be a harpoon pack. The symbol painted on it was also strange- it seemed to be a modified anarchy symbol that was just a capital A drawn with a squiggly line- a line that both Simon and Grace wore on their faces. The other thing they both had on their faces was a look of discomfort and contempt for her, each other and the entire situation. 

Add to that their body language, how they kept sneaking glances at each other despite being turned away and the heavy atmosphere between them… the signs of a couple falling out where pretty easy to spot. Whatever walk of life these two came from she guessed it still had lovers’ spats. 

“So,” she began, “I take it you’re here with a relationship issue? I assume you are partners, right?”

Simon stiffened and flushed a little but remained silent. Grace also kept quiet, just staring down at her right hand- turning it over and over with a lost expression. 

“Well?” Simon said eventually and gestured for Grace to talk. 

“What? You need me to make every decision for you AND speak on your behalf?” Grace snapped back at him. 

_ “Oh boy…” _ Liz thought,  _ “not even five minutes in and here we go...” _

“I make decisions on my own just fine- if anything you’re the one who’s been spineless recently!” Simon said venomously, “We had the perfect opportunity to take out that null and I took it! Like we’re supposed to do! We’re The Apex remember, whatever happened to our procedures and incapacitating nulls?” Simon screamed at her and ran a hand through his fringe while he took a deep breath. “And- And instead of being… I don’t know, relieved that there’s not a super dangerous huge Gorilla stalking the train trying to trick passengers or even being happy that Hazel doesn’t have to worry about that null anymore you’re upset!”

“Tuba! Her name is- was Tuba!” Grace yelled back, “Hazel lost her mother figure show some respect for once!”

“Excuse me but, um, who’s Tuba?” Liz asked quietly. 

“Nothing,” spat Simon while raising his thumb and finger to his eye in a circle, mimicking Grace’s signature pose as he quoted her, “Not even a zero.”

Grace winced at the reminder of who she’d been not even a few weeks ago. She’d said that exact thing to Hazel. It suddenly occurred to her that Hazel may have known who she really was the whole time she was teaching her about nulls, teaching her about herself. She’d said nulls were bad, evil, not to be trusted and not even real to a little girl who was one of them. Grace knew what it was like to have an adult call you worthless- but being told you weren’t even a person was much, much worse than being called a disappointing dancer. How could she have put her through what she had to go through? 

“Simon...” she pleaded.

“Grace.” He hissed back. 

“So…” Liz tried to wrap her head around this conversation, “Tuba is a mother in law or something?” 

Simon scoffed. “Some mother! She would have left Hazel to DIE! You might have been distracted by your little games and fun but I was paying attention when she let slip about those kids she had. The ones that died mysteriously!”

“Simon you can’t really think that Tuba was going to kill Hazel. You saw how protective she was of her-”

“And? It doesn’t mean anything- you think The Cat wasn’t  _ oh so protective _ of me when we first met- so very helpful and  _ motherly _ ? And how did that end for me? You had to come save me but who was going to save Hazel with no other passengers for several cars? Tuba was a huge lumbering Gorilla that could break Hazel’s spine by stepping on her wrong and you wanted me to just let her walk free? Say ‘Tuba I know where you can find a bunch of other children to hurt’ and lead her right to The Apex?” 

Liz was about to ask what The Apex was. And who Tuba was. And what a null was. And what was even going on but Grace shot back at Simon before she could say anything.

“Simon that’s NOT how it happened” The Apex were going to help us deal with her and there wasn’t even any need to wheel her- the train car was moving away. The problem was going to take of itself without you throwing Hazel’s mother into the wheels!” 

Simon jabbed a finger at Grace and snarled “Don’t you dare call that thing Hazel’s mother! How dare you! How can you say that knowing Hazel has her real human parents waiting for her somewhere?” 

“Simon… Hazel doesn’t have parents.” Grace said quietly. 

“What are you talking about everyone has parents. Sure some people can’t remember their parents - It’s not unusual for kids to get picked up so early they forget their own last names within a few years but that doesn’t mean they just popped out of the ground, Grace.” 

“Okay I agree Hazel had to come from somewhere but her parents… they um…” Grace stroked her hands down her face and took a shuddering breath. Simon wasn’t going to like the truth. “They wouldn’t have been like us.” 

Simon frowned at her and for one moment his anger turned to confusion, “What’re you talking about?”

“They wouldn’t have had numbers. Simon… Hazel was… the reason her number wasn’t glowing was because it wasn’t a number. It was just a mark on her skin- like a tattoo. She wasn’t a train passenger.” Grace looked away so she wouldn’t have to see Simon’s face. “She was a null.”

Simon didn’t say anything. Liz watched him sit there in shock with a blank expression until he eventually said, “Hazel was a denizen?”

“Can I ask-” Liz cut in, “Who exactly was or is Hazel? A family member of yours? Did you and Tuba share custody of her, or something?”

Grace grimaced. So this was how it seemed. A family disagreement. It could have been like that, like this woman thought. Her and Simon and Hazel and Tuba, one odd little family. “No… not exactly.”

“But she was human.” Simon insisted.

“I saw it happen. She wasn’t made right. Or I guess she was made right because Hazel was so lovely but her body it…” There was so much to keep track of now. There were so many messy questions and Grace didn’t know what to think anymore. The memory of Hazel morphing into the strange turtle creature still stirred up a lot of shameful feelings. Hazel had trusted her- they’d cared for each other. Why was is it that even now she still felt disgust at her being a denizen? She was the only disgusting one, her and Simon. Why was it that even now all those horrible words came bubbling up to the surface? Had she been too bad for too long? Was there any hope for her? 

“I mean… I’d been having doubts with Tuba.” Grace insisted as she started to recount things from the beginning, “I could see that even though she was...  _ different _ she cared about Hazel in the same way we care about The Apex. I guess that was why my number was going down. I’ve never actually gotten to know a null before. I didn’t get assigned one like most passengers do and after I met the conductor I wasn’t exactly interested in making friends with talking ducks that were only put there to amuse me so… I guess in some ways Tuba was my null. And up close there was no denying that she could feel joy and sadness and… and pain.” 

Simon winced as he remembered what he’d done. Tuba’s screams had mingled with the booming thunder but he’d heard each pained shout and seen the fear in her huge eyes. He'd never wheeled a null he knew before and it hadn't made the experience better.

“It’s just programming. They simulate human emotion but simulation isn’t the same as actually being something.” he muttered, “And behind that mask I’ve seen what the nulls really are.” A note of sadness and hurt crept into his voice as he turned to face Grace, “I guess all these years I thought you had too. I thought you remembered how you had to save me from the ghoms- I thought you cared about what I had to go through but if all it took was one talking Gorilla to change your mind I guess I was wrong.” 

“Simon I… that’s not what I meant… Simon of course I care about you.” Grace promised and despite everything Simon’s mouth twitched upwards in a smile, “I know how scared and alone and hurt you were. You wouldn’t eat and you had those nightmares. I haven’t forgotten what The Cat put you through. And I still believe that the train is dangerous- that nulls are dangerous. Or some of them are dangerous.” she corrected herself, “It’s no place for little kids.” 

“It was no place for Hazel. She should’ve been around humans.” Simon said sadly, “She should’ve had a chance to know her real parents- unless you’re still trying to tell me she didn’t have any.” 

Liz silently noted down  _ Bizarre delusions and shared hallucinations of a talking Gorilla (?) _ on her clipboard and gave up on ever understanding these people while Grace sighed again.

“Simon… Hazel’s parent was Tuba. And you ki- no not you.” Grace remembered how Tuba had taken care of Hazel. Carrying her, playing with her, guarding her while she slept. Protecting her, she supposed, from them. And rightly so. She’d been about to pin all the blame on Simon and his rash, stupid, deluded and evil actions but Tuba had been just as wary of her. Grace had been just as much of a threat. How many nulls- no, denizens NO… how many _ people _ had she wheeled? 

“I would have done it too.” she admitted, “I’ve wheeled so many people and the second I thought we’d weaned Hazel off Tuba I’d have kicked her to the wheels too. I was the one who told you what the conductor said. I was the one who told you about nulls. It’s my fault too. I should’ve told you what I was learning instead of lying and saying I didn’t know why my number was going down. I should’ve helped you I… I was the one who handed you the gun I can’t be angry that you shot it. You killed Tuba but I’m no better.” A horrifying thought occurred to Grace, “If I’d known from the very beginning would I have even wheeled Hazel?”

“Grace what the hell are you talking about?" Simon demanded, "She was just a little girl- just because there was something wrong with her number and she loved Tuba doesn’t mean she was-”

“You’re right. She was just a little girl. And she did love Tuba. She was both those things and she was also a denizen. You were still in the car when I went to check on Hazel after you… told her what you did.” Simon and Grace both grimaced at the memory, “And when I stepped out I saw that she wasn’t the Hazel we knew anymore. She didn’t look human. She’d grown claws and a shell and a, and a beak.” 

“What are you talking about she was human when I came out-”

“That’s because I’d calmed her down a bit.” Grace explained, “When she was upset she couldn’t hold her form anymore. I saw what she really was and.. what I saw was still a scared sad little girl who’d just had her mom taken away. Just like me when I first got on.” Grace said quietly. It had been just as she drew that parallel, just as she realised that Hazel was the same as her- that ANY denizen was the same as her. Just as complicated and capable of feeling happiness and pain that it had happened. “I had my gloves on so I didn’t see my number drop to zero but I saw my exit-”

Simon hugged himself. “I know the rest.” he whispered painfully. 

Grace hadn’t realised her number was just a zero. One moment she’d been trying to find the words to say to Hazel and the next there was a light beside her. At first she hadn’t realised the doorway was for her and she’d been so surprised she hadn’t had time to move away. So the second it opened she was sucked into it. 

Grace had heard all sorts of screams on the train- The Apex when they got hurt, her victims, herself, but the one that was forever burned into her mind was Simon’s agonised scream when he saw her dissolving into light. He screamed at her not to leave him him alone in the wasteland as if ten years hadn’t changed anything. She’d felt his hand frantically grab onto her. And then there had been the pathway. 

And then? Grass, asphalt, the real world. Simon still clinging to her as they lay on the ground, staring up at the real sky for the first time in almost a decade.

She hadn’t thought that the train would let someone with a number as high as Simon’s exit but she guessed the train had just wanted it’s biggest trouble makers off as quickly as possible- rules be damned. Two cult leaders with one stone. One One was probably still celebrating and slowly picking off The Apex one by one. 

And Hazel? 

“So Hazel was a denizen.” Simon said quietly. 

Grace nodded slowly. “Yes.” 

Simon screwed his face up as if he was about to have another outburst- though if he was going to scream or cry she couldn’t tell. He was still hugging himself and she saw his knuckles were white from gripping his arms.

“You can’t deny that she was a little girl can you Simon?” Simon’s grip grew tighter and tighter. 

“You can’t seriously tell me that we should’ve wheeled her?” 

Simon got up so fast his chair fell to the ground. He turned around and gave the fallen furniture an angry kick and stormed out of the room. Leaving it broken on the floor. The brief flash of his face Liz saw was completely drained of colour and while Liz had seen all sorts of heartbreak and trauma in her career she’d never seen someone look as broken as that. 

Grace scrambled up to go after him and Liz called out after her, “Would you still like to have your second free appointment?” As stupid as it was for this crazy situation she was obligated to offer them at least that- she’d try to bring up the topic of psychiatric treatment to them then. 

“Oh um…” Grace forced a smile, “I don’t think you can help us. I don’t know if anyone can help us now.” 

With that Grace bolted after her companion and Liz was left staring at her incomprehensible notes wondering what the hell had just happened. 

Liz tried to write up a summary but what those people had said had been so damn strange- she was convinced they experienced some sort of shared delusion or hallucination, or maybe something else her limited expertise couldn’t diagnose. Either way, it was off to the psychiatrist and possibly even a ward for these two. She typed up that they’d cut their session short by storming off and leaned back to stretch. 

“Hi Liz!” Their most recent trainee called as he opened the door, “Matt wants to know if this room is free-” he noticed the almost demolished chair, “What the hell happened here?”

Liz rubbed her temples. “I wish I knew Jesse I wish I knew. Two people yelling at each other about god knows what. Nulls, exits… who knows what that means.”

Jesse gasped and nearly dropped the coffee he’d brought her in shock. He quickly composed himself and asked, “Liz by any chance did these people say anything about a… a train.”

“I think they did. Now that I think about it that’s slightly similar to what you were rambling about when we first started working with you. You don’t have to disclose anything you don’t want but do you have anything you’d like to say?”

“No it’s… it’s fine. Actually, Liz could I talk to them?”

Liz looked over at him, “Jesse I know you’re training hard and doing your best but these were people who clearly had intense, poorly managed psychotic symptoms and you haven’t been briefed on how to help people in that incredibly vulnerable state. Not to mention it wouldn’t be ethical to have someone who isn’t fully trained deal with a grown man who as you can see-” Liz gestured at the kicked in chair, “has some violent tendencies.” 

“I know I know and I get that you’ve been doing this longer and all that but there’s some stuff about the world I know that you don’t. Like about… what they were talking about.” Jesse told her, “I think I know what was going on with them and I think I can help. I don’t think someone who doesn’t know what’s going on with them would be able to help much- no offense to you.” he added quickly.

“Well…” Liz scratched the back of her head. It was true that Jesse was one of the most empathetic people she’d ever met. And the parallels between his train related ramblings these people’s incomprehensible ramblings was undeniable. Normally Liz was very strict about protocol but Jesse had helped a patient that wouldn’t stop talking about a magic train before. And while she didn’t agree with her co workers about Jesse’s friend being made out of metal (though the time she came to pick him up with a magnet stuck to her was pretty strange) there were definitely things out there she couldn’t explain. “I suppose since we’re going to have to refer them for psychiatric evaluation anyway so it’s not like I’ll be working with them.. and since there were some things they said that were very reminiscent of your experience I can brief you on some stuff and let you run their next session. But only if we get their consent to be seen by a trainee- okay?”

“Yeah that’s fine. Thanks Liz. You won’t regret it.” 

“I hope not.” she mumbled as she underlined the word  _ null. _

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after a jokey lil convo in the grace/simon tumblr group chat but this ended out not so jokey.


End file.
